She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
