WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
