First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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