fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
