Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
