I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize