bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
