Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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