Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
