I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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