WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
