Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize