I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
