I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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