This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
NoShamevember. You game?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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