She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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