North Korea, Best Korea!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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