I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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