just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
