so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
