Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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