I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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