Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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