Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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