You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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