Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
