her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
