Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
