their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
