I'm really into asian looking animals
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
