nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
handjob tips. give me some.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
