So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Be still, my beating vagina.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
