I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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