it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
