Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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