What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
