Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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