And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize