Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize