OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
are you so shy because you have an std?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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