It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
