People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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