i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
