I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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