This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
