You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
