Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
