It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize