i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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