so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
