I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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