This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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