How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
