the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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