But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
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hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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