Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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