I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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