sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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