I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
