Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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